Giving up is not the answer. Neither is giving in. Stand your ground.
Calmly and quietly assert your right to tell naysayers to f*ck themselves.
Is there a difference between giving up and giving in?
I think so. It’s subtle but it’s there.
Giving up, as far as I can tell, is to abandon something, a task or project. To give in is to acquiesce. To yield, become passive. The former usually precedes the latter.
You give up, then you give in. One is a mental act, an internal resignation. The latter is physical: head down, mouth shut. Resignation, generally, precedes obsequiousness.
It occurs to me that many people have given up on society in recent years. A pervasive feeling that nothing can be done hangs in the air – the lunatics have taken over the asylum and the best one can do is stay out of the spotlight.
The problem with this approach is that, like the Dunning-Kruger effect, those that shout the loudest usually have the least to say. And when we give in to such verbal bullies, we make it all the more difficult for those still trying to stand their ground.
I don’t judge, of course. It’s hard to beat such people at their own game. Thankfully, you don’t have to.
Let me present, for your consideration:
The case of NUMMI (New United Motor Manufacturing, Inc.), Fremont, California.
Prior to the existence of NUMMI, the site in Fremont was occupied, between 1962 and 1982, by the GM auto manufacturing plant.
Throughout those years, it was commonly believed that employees at Fremont were "the worst workforce in the automobile industry in the U.S".* Attempts to discipline workers were often met with strikes, putting the plant into constant chaos.
By 1982, GM had had enough, closed the plant and laid off 1000's of workers.
When Toyota approached GM about a joint venture the following year, they suggested the abandoned Fremont plant as an ideal site. However, because the union insisted on re-hiring the same union leaders that oversaw the worst workforce in their history, GM said no. Toyota insisted – they felt their system could turn things around. As long as they could do things their way. Thus was born New United Motor Manufacturing, Inc. (NUMMI). The company ran from 1984 to 2010.
At its peak in 2006, NUMMI was producing 428,633 vehicles for the year. On the exact same site. With, more or less, the exact same workforce. Just different thinking.
Some problems seem insurmountable. Too big for one person, or one idea, to solve. So, we give up. And then we give in. Before you know it, someone else has come along, maybe an ‘expert’ or a guru, and half-arsed it. But it’s been done, and not by you.
There is another way. Stand your ground. As Neale Donald Walsch said:
“There is a way of doing that without having to be combative. There is a way of hanging on to your true self, and demonstrating it, without resorting to aggression. But giving up and giving in is not the way. Simply and quietly claiming your right to be You is the way.”
Once you know what you stand for, you can go about finding the solution. And there is ALWAYS a solution.
But it starts with standing your ground: speaking your truth, quietly and with conviction.
If that fails, you can gently suggest they go and f*ck themselves.
Of course, you’d prefer to engage in such conversations with respect, civility, and decorum. You’re a decent, upstanding citizen who recognises that the backbone of a civilised society is good manners. Nonetheless, being nice is not without its drawbacks. The world is replete with sociopaths, bullies, and narcissists who love nice people. They will suck every drop of niceness out of you. Then ask why you’re being so tetchy.
The alternative to being nice is not being disagreeable. Although it certainly helps sometimes. The answer is to be honest. Speak your truth, quietly and with conviction.
Stand your ground.
And if they don’t listen, tell them to get f*cked. Why deprive the world of your input?
*This is a quote from one of their own union leaders.
THIS: "Simply and quietly claiming your right to be You is the way."
I've never seen it said so succinctly, and it really needs to be tattooed on everyone's foreheads.
I think it all depends on giving up on what exactly. “Reclaiming the right of being You” is the key here. Because sometimes, giving up is the opposite to what you describe. Sometimes, giving up is to stop giving in and reclaim the right to being You.